I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My balls are so social today.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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