Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize