I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
