Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
