it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
