then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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