Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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