hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
