so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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