What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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