Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
