Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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