Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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