Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
