One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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