therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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