I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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