Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
