This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Alive.
So much puke
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
