Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
