how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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