I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
3pm strippers are depressing
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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