Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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