I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
