he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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