Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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