The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize