I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.