Screwed.edu
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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