no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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