Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..