please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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