pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
