I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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