so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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