I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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