I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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