I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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