I bet he comes in French.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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