I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
