I love watching others lives come down to our level.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
