Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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