She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
