Are we in a gay sports bar?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
