found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
