it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
