lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
