I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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