my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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