My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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