i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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