It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
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i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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