Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
