I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
