The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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