What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
