yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The Olympian is in my bed
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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