A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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