WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
COCAINE IS GR8
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
