We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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