Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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