I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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